Why You Shouldn't Be Afraid To "Pull a Phoebe"

Can you bring something to the bake sale? Mind watching my kids for a couple hours? Can I sign you up as a volunteer? 

Women get asked questions like these a lot. But WHEN did women start feeling afraid to say no?  And I mean just say “no” without apologizing, defending your decision, or lying to get out of whatever it is.  When did we become prisoners of others’ needs?  Do you remember in that episode of Friends, when they ask Phoebe for help and she simply says, "I wish I could, but I don't want to." Now THAT is a good, honest answer. 

I don’t mind hearing the word no. In the volunteer world, it is my job to seek help, and I get a lot of no’s before I get one yes.  That's to be expected and I never get offended or the slightest bit miffed by it.  But when someone gets defensive and angrily goes on about how they work, have kids, have a life etc. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

   

One, you can just say NO.  Don't feel guilty or balk at the question.  If anything, you should feel flattered that someone wanted to include you and thinks you are up for the task.  

Two, you can’t tell someone that has a full time career and a part time job and still makes their kids and husband breakfast and dinner every day, that YOU are too busy.  Excuses aren’t necessary and they wouldn’t work on me anyway. I don't expect anyone to jam their schedule as full as I do and it would be foolish of me to boast about how busy I am.  I am not super woman, just someone who personifies the saying "idle hands are the devil's workshop".  I know that if I don't stay very busy, I will settle down on the couch with chips and ice cream and watch bad reality TV until I have to get my fat pants out of the box in the garage.  
We all have our own issues and reasons why we say "yes" or "no".  

Just be honest.  You'll get more respect for an honest "no" than an excuse or a "yes" with your fingers crossed behind your back. I always try to look at situations through the eyes of my young girls.  What am I teaching them?  I am teaching them that a woman can do anything she sets her mind to, no matter how busy life gets.  I am showing them how to manage time by figuring out their passions, working hard, and staying dedicated.  And MOST importantly, I am teaching them that they can say “NO” without guilt or excuses in ANY situation.  

Why You Shouldn't Even Try To Be Perfect

Right after we moved to Colorado, I was in a thrift store (aka my happy place) and I found a 14 piece set of beautiful Pottery Barn dishes for next to nothing.  I don’t put these dishes in the cupboard. I stack them on a shelf because they are just too pretty to be in the dark.  They were in pristine condition when I got them, and that was about two years ago and a handful of dinner parties, kids helping put them away, unrecommended baths in the dishwasher, falls off the counter, etc.  You know what? I like them even more now, with the intermittent nicks and tiny cracks, a testimony to the good times we have in the kitchen.   

It is so easy to fall into the trap where we believe everything needs to be perfect.  But being perfect is impossible and that up-hill battle gets old fast.  I used to work myself to death exercising and watching every single calorie.  I would put on makeup and curl my hair even if I was just going to the grocery store.  Yeah, I looked great, but I was exhausted. And hungry!  Fast forward some fifteen years, and I have more pounds on me and miles behind me, a nice big c-section scar, and even a few gray hairs on my head.  Definitely not perfect, but I will take this real life over the monotony of perfection any day.   

Celebrate your scars, your imperfections, the bumps in the road that make the journey more exciting, the stories you can tell, the cracks in your favorite dishes.  Throw away the image of what you think your life should look like, and bask in the charm of the life you have.  Find the beauty. It is all around you.   

Why You Should Always Venture Down The Clearance Aisle

My daughters and I have never met a clearance aisle that we didn’t like.  Earlier today we were in City Market, and we found our new favorite kitchen gadget; the Piggy Pop!  Yes, it is as cool as it sounds.  It is a silicon tray that you bake your cornbread and hotdogs in to make pigs in the blanket in the shape of little pigs! How cute is that? We were so excited to try this avant-garde culinary experience that we had a batch in the oven before we even had the groceries unloaded.  They were easy, adorable, and delicious. In my kitchen, that is the winning trifecta.  I should note that the Piggy Pop can also be used as a Jell-O mold, and I frankly cannot think of anything cuter than little, jiggly, Jell-O piggies.    

We were in a hurry to try these today, so we used a package of Jiffy Corn Bread mix.  However, when we make these again I will use my slightly more complex Sweet Corn Bread Recipe, below. We also use Nathan’s Hot Dogs, because they’re the best 🙂 

• 1 box Betty Crocker Yellow Cake Mix 
• 2 boxes Vegetarian  Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix 
• 1/2 cup sunflower oil 
• ¾ cup water 
• 2/3 cup almond milk 
• 5 eggs 
• 
  

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl and pour into a 9 x 13 baking dish (or into a Piggy Pop 😉 ). Bake at 350 for about half an hour.